“seems that life’s become so complicated
don’t think it was meant to be this way
how did i get so distracted
caught up in the chaos of each day
when did i stop asking for Your wisdom
as if Your words were meant for someone else
why do i choose to second-guess You
oh, i only frustrate and confuse myself

i just wanna love You, simply love You
the way it used to be, when Your love was new to me
i just wanna love You, simply love You
to hear what You say
and live every day like You’ve asked me to
i just wanna simply love You

many times You spoke of us as children
but childhood seems to me so long ago
still You say i can trust You like i did then
if i give You my hand, You will lead me home

to fall on my knees, with fresh disbelief
stirred once again by the story of how You’ve loved me…”

~ “simply love You”… by ginny owens

How easy it is to get into a routine and lose the wonder and joy I first had when I came to know Jesus. It is so easy to get distracted and let life get so complicated that sometimes I forget which end is up. Life gets crazy sometimes. So chaotic. Sometimes I don’t even realize it until I am in so deep. It is such a gradual process…

When did I stop asking for His wisdom? Like I am too good to listen to my Creator about what is right or what He knows is best for me. Like His words are meant for someone else, not me. I find this to be so easy to do… not that I think I am too wise or good to listen or that His words are not for me just as much as they are for anybody else… but it almost becomes involuntary. It is my instinct as a human to want to do it on my own, to little by little slip farther from where I need to be. It is human nature to want to do it my own way. That doesn’t make it right, but I think it explains it, at least partially.

When I try to go on my own, second-guessing what I know God has taught me, it just hurts me more. When we’re spoken of as children in the Bible, how easy it is to look at it from a distance and say, “Yeah, well, not me. I’ve grown past that in my life.” But see, when I begin to get this type of attitude, no matter how naturally it may come, this is when my guard is let down. To have this kind of attitude in the first place is so wrong of me. The way it contributes to letting go of my guard is dangerous too. When I think I am strong, that is when I tend to actually be the weakest, because I guess I for some reason think I am strong on my own… which just goes to prove [as if it needs proven] that God knows just what He’s talking about when He speaks of us as children.. because it is so very childish to want to be completely independent and strong by myself. How many times have you witnessed a young child wanting to help move something huge and heavy — so you pick it up and let them “help” you.. even though you’re the one carrying all the weight? Yeah.. that’s me. “It’s okay, God, I’ve got it.” And all the while He is holding it and just looking at me and smiling, knowing that I don’t have it at all.

I have found that when I let go of trying to do it all myself, when I let God take back the controls, it is so freeing. When I just let go and embrace the simple trust and love of a child — the wonder that I first had — God brings me so much joy. I have to learn to let go of all the silly distractions and worries of life and give them to God.

To fall on my knees, with fresh disbelief, stirred once again by the story of how You loved me”… I don’t want to ever lose the wonder and awe of how God could love and die for me. I want to always have the joy of His love. I just want to simply love Him.