“i am letting go of what i know
that keeps me far from You
i am not my own, for all i hold
i’m yielding now to You

i yield my plans
i yield my dreams
i yield my life to You my King
all i have been, all i could be
i place it in Your hands
i’m yielding all i am
to You…”

~ “yielding”… by todd proctor

To let go and yield my plans and dreams to God is not the easiest thing in the world. You’d think knowing that He is my Creator and that He definitely knows what is best for me would make it easier. And.. really, while it does make it easier, it does not make it easy. I know that as followers of Christ we are not called to the easy way of life, but easy honestly is not what I am looking for.

I find that when I yield my own dreams to the One who dreams the best dreams for me, He gives me such joy in that surrender. I know I am in the exact place where I need to be, and I know that giving up whatever right I may think I have to plan my own life to Him is going to bring me this ultimate fulfillment and satisfaction that I could not find anywhere else.

I know this is a recurring theme in my writing, yet I think it is a topic that is incredibly pertinent in my life. It is so important.

As I was listening to this song a couple of days ago, I could not help but think what my life would look like if I gave over the right of way to God. It’s a constant intention of mine. I really mean to do it. And I do… for a little while. Then, little by little, I begin to grab for control again. I want to have control of my own life, even though I literally cannot have it. To consciously and deliberately give over complete control to God is really the only way to live, the only way to really have life.

*I cannot believe it has taken me five days to write this post…

Last night I was dreaming. Not as in dreaming in my sleep, but as in dreaming about life and the future and whatever God has for me. I wrote in my journal about the thoughts and dreams and prayers that were wandering through my mind and heart. I thought about how hard it is to give everything to Him and really trust Him to take care of it all, knowing that He will make it all just right in the end. I thought about how easy it is to reach for it back once I have given it to Him. And I prayed. I began to just honestly and simply pour out my heart to God as I have not done in quite a while [much as I wish I did not have to admit that to anybody, even myself].

But as I sat there and wrote and prayed, I was reminded of how God blesses my trust in Him. He loves for me to pour out my heart to Him. [Psalm 62:8] I told Him honestly what I was feeling and wanting, and I gave it to Him. I prayed that He would grow me and strengthen me in His patience and wisdom as I wait for what He has for me. I prayed that He would continue to mold me, making me into the woman I know He wants me to be and made me to be.

I really don’t want to reach for it back. I want to wait on God and just see what He has for me, because I know it is not only better than anything I could ever dream up, but it is the absolute best that could ever be in my life.

I am going to keep on praying about what God has for me, and I am going to keep on learning to live for Him as I go through life. I love to dream and to live each day in joy, excitement, and real life.

“May we all stand on tiptoe to hear His voice, eager to obey and ready to be surprised.” ~ Joy Williams