“stir in me
a fire that the world cannot explain
i come to worship You
stir in me
a passion that my heart cannot contain
i come to worship You

hold me, break me
mold me and make me
more and more like You
i come to worship You
to love You, fear You
draw ever near You as i worship You…”

~ “stir in me”… by todd proctor

Today was my first day back at work in the Learning Center at my college. I knew it was going to be different in some very major ways, but I did not really know what exactly to expect. My friends are pretty much all gone. There is one lady who I worked with all last year, and we have the same overlapping hours again this semester; we’d gotten to know each other throughout the past year, so we did some catching up today. “What was your summer like?” and that sort of thing. One new tutor is a lady that several of us worked with last year on various subjects, so I already knew her. Oh, and I knew the faculty that came in. The math teachers and all that also happen to work in the Learning Center.

I am not really sure what to think about all of this… I cannot even describe how much negativity I saw and heard while I was at school/work today. Somebody doesn’t like their course or their instructor or their supervisor. Have you ever gotten the feeling that some people just want to have something to complain about and have to find some detail wrong with everything they encounter?

This is an aspect of living in the world that I just cannot comprehend. Why would anybody honestly want to skip out on the good things in life to focus on the not-so-great [or what they consider to be less-than-perfect]? Isn’t life so much more fun when you’re smiling and looking for something to be glad about? Not that life is all about having fun, but I so believe in having fun in whatever circumstances I find myself.

One girl I met today, one of the newer tutors [she worked over the summer], did actually make a good impression on me. She was the only new one to really smile [come on, you guys… who in their right mind wants to come in for tutoring and find that the only people there to help look like that is last place on earth they would ever choose to be??] and be friendly. I enjoyed talking with her and am looking forward to our overlapping hours in the LC; I can really see her being a bright spot in my semester.

As I realized all the complaining I was hearing, I began to ask God to keep me smiling. I don’t want to ever become the dark spot in somebody’s day. What kind of light for Jesus would I be if I sat around complaining and finding something negative about everything and everyone around me?

I asked Him to shine His love through me and through the way I live life. Maybe being around a smile will have an influence on these people. Maybe they have gotten so burned out on life because they have no hope. Maybe I am the only way they will ever see Jesus. Isn’t that in itself a great reason to live life with a smile?

I want God to stir in me a fire that the world cannot explain and a passion so deeply rooted that my heart cannot possibly contain it. The heart of a life truly lived for God cannot help but overflow with His joy and love.

I choose to enjoy my life. Sometimes it takes a bit of courage to go into such a negative atmosphere as most of the world has these days. But it’s worth it.

What might happen if, for every complaint that somebody voiced, I found something to be glad about and voiced my own thought? Could I start a chain reaction?

So… I am praying that I will just keep on living for Jesus, ignoring the negative comments and all the complaining around me. I sure do miss my friends though. You know, there was some of this negativity last year, but not like this. Or maybe there was but I blocked it out. The friends I made in there were not a part of the complaining, so sitting and talking with them in our free time was always so refreshing.

“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste (its strength, its quality), how can its saltness be restored? It is not good for anything any longer but to be thrown out and trodden underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a peck measure, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven.” [Matthew 5:13-16, Amplified Bible]

May my light shine as I live my life for Jesus.