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“late at night i wonder why
sometimes i wonder why
sometimes i’m so tired 
i don’t even try
seems everything around me fails
but i hold on to the promise
that there is a reason

late at night, the darkness makes it hard to see
the history of the saints who’ve gone in front of me
through famine, plague and disbelief
His hand was still upon them
’cause there is a reason
there is a reason

He makes all things good
He makes all things good
there’s a time to live and a time to die 
a time for wonder and to wonder why
’cause there is a reason
there is a reason

i believe in a God who sent His only Son
to walk upon this world and give His life for us
with blood and tears on a long, dark night
we know that He believed
that there is a reason
there is a reason

for the lonely nights
and broken hearts
the widow’s mite
in the rich man’s hand
and the continent
whose blood becomes a traitor

for the child afraid to close their eyes
the prayers that seem unanswered
there is a reason
there is a reason…”

~ “there is a reason”… by caedmon’s call

There is always a reason. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

My family and I left for Tennessee shortly after 2pm Friday and arrived back home around 1 this morning, making our entire trip less than thirty-six hours long. We spent most of yesterday at St. Mary’s Hospice, where they’d moved my great uncle the day before.

It was so hard to see him as weak and skinny as he was in July, but yesterday was even worse. He can barely talk now, because he doesn’t have the strength. Ever his giving self, he wanted to pay for my family to go to lunch, so he sent us out with his son. There is just nobody like him….

When my Mema was sick — every time she got sick — he and his wife [my Mema’s sister] would come up from their home in Tennessee to help take care of her and to just be here. Every time their sister in Kentucky has been sick, they’ve gone to help her out. They went out to Washington state when their sister out there was sick. They stayed for months with her, then came home for appointments with their doctors back in Tennessee, and then they went back out to Washington. They’d go down to Florida and do the same thing. There was absolutely nothing that could ever keep them away, that could make them not help somebody. She’s always sewing on a quilt for her church to give away. They both have always been probably the most selfless, giving people I have ever known.

There is nothing that could have kept my family and me from going down there to see him and the others. They’ve been there for literally everybody. There is nobody who shines like they do.

I think a lot of people probably would hear me say my great uncle isn’t doing well, and they’d not understand. How many people are really all that close to their great uncle? Their grandma’s brother-in-law? But really… my family is so close-knit, I cannot even tell you. None of my grandparents are living now, and we’ve already lost another dear member of my family this year. I love my family.

In the hard times, I am reminded that He makes all things good [Ecclesiastes 3:1-11]. There are times when life just doesn’t make sense. There are times when I don’t like it. But there is never, ever a time when I am alone… God says, “Never, ever, ever will I leave you or forget about you or abandon you” [Hebrews 13:5]. He will never let me down.

So I’m not having the easiest or best of times these days. I am still trusting God. I know He will make all things beautiful.

I wish I didn’t have to go through these hard times, but I know that the only way I can grow is through pain. The only way I have become who I am today is through living — not only in the good times, but in the not-so-good too.