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Sometimes I wonder… if I go in a different direction than I was supposed to go, as long as I am seeking after God, will I still end up at the same destination? Like what if I should have said something but didn’t, or if I said something I shouldn’t have…?

I have found myself wishing at some moments that I could photoshop my life. Not because I want to create some dream world that I don’t have, but because I want to undo some stupid action or take back words that have found their way out of my mouth. Not creating a composition, but just to do more of a retouching or restoration job.

Maybe thinking about life in those terms is a bit of a tattletale on me… maybe I am just a bit obsessed with photoshop like my sister claims. But I really like the illustration it gives…

Because.. I don’t have some kind of life-altering program where I can go back and fix all my mistakes. I can’t just use the clone tool to cover up something I don’t like having in the picture. It doesn’t work that way.

What I can do though.. is share my heart with God and ask Him to teach me what I am supposed to do. I can spend time reading the Bible and in prayer, seeking after Christ and how He wants me to live.

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” [Proverbs 16:9, NIV]

As much as I can plan on my own, it is God who really determines every step I take in life. He knows what I am going to do, and even though I know He doesn’t always like my choices, He lets me choose which way I go. Sometimes that ends up putting me in spots in my life that I wish I weren’t in [hence the wish that I could photoshop my life every now and then].

Looking back always seems to make life look so much clearer; it makes me wonder sometimes why I went about parts of my life as I did.

My prayer for 2008 is that I’ll spend more time just sharing my heart with God and looking to follow after Him. I so want to be after His heart. I want my one magnificent obsession to be to know and follow hard after Christ Jesus. I know I’ll still have those days that I wish I could just photoshop away or disguise as something they are not. But through those days, I want to grow and trust God more.