“You say, ‘don’t worry’
i say, ‘i’ll try not to,
but it seems like i’m just predisposed’ 
You say ‘just trust Me’
i say, ‘i’d love to but
i keep having trouble letting go’

what i’ve got might not seem like much
but i’m scared of losing it all
i’m standing on the edge of so much more
and i’m about to take the fall

i’m falling into You
and all Your mysterious ways
draw me into You
and Your unfailing grace
this will be the end of me

my heart is willing but this flesh is weak
it’s like i’m paralyzed
by what i think i know
i’m waiting on You to come and rescue me
but it’s up to me to let You have control

what i’ve got might not seem like much
but i’m scared of losing it all
i’m standing on the edge of so much more
and i’m about to take the fall…

this is where i end, this is where You begin
this is where i end

i’m letting go of me
i’m trusting You to be all that i need
i’m letting go of me and falling into You..” 

~ “falling into You”.. by big daddy weave

He’s waiting for me — so wanting to show me what comes next, what my next step is. But when I hold on rather than letting go of my selfish grip on the control that I somehow and for some reason think I’ve got.. I don’t leave Him anything to work with. There’s no room for Him to work in my life when I’ve got it all taken over with what I don’t want to lose.. with what I somehow think I can keep safe if I hold onto it myself.

The funny thing about that, though, is that I’ve found the opposite to be true. When I don’t let go, I really don’t have any more control than when I don’t hold on. In fact, there is so much more fulfillment, joy, and freedom to be found in life in the giving up of what I think I’ve got a hold on.

It comes in the form of not worrying… 

Hard?

You bet.

I think everybody probably has trouble with that to an extent. That’s my suspicion, anyway. 

“Trust Me”? Really? Yeah.. I’d love to, but…

No buts.

His ways really are mysterious. They don’t always make sense. Actually, a lot of the time they don’t. 

When the end of me comes.. when I finally let trust in Him take over and let Him live out His amazingness in my life ~ letting everything He is shine through rather than letting my own nonsensical self taint the picture of Him that I’m giving to those around me.. this is when my life takes a drastic turn and becomes real life. Full, abundant life like in John 10:10

It’s no longer my own, and that is the best thing in the world.

This is such a recurring topic for me, but it’s something I constantly am learning, relearning, and attempting to put into practice. You’d think by now, after having seen His power and amazingness at work in so many ways ~ jobs, sickness, school, little everyday things, etc. ~ that trusting would be easier and that just maybe I’d have it down. At least a little. And I can’t help but wonder why it isn’t easier.

Why is the desire for control so constantly in the midst of every circumstance? Maybe it’s just another part of that selfish nature. 

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. The LORD works out everything for his own ends…” [Proverbs 16:3-4a, NIV]

Not to say that everything you want is going to happen.. but He’s got everything taken care of. And I just need to trust Him, to fall into Him. He’s already written my story.

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