“at twenty years of age 
i’m still looking for a dream 
a war is waged for my destiny 
but You’ve already won the battle 
and You’ve got great plans for me 
though i can’t always see 

i got a couple dents in my fender 
got a couple rips in my jeans 
try to put the pieces together 
but perfection is my enemy 
and on my own i’m so clumsy 
but on Your shoulders i can see 
i’m free to be me 

when i was just a girl 
i thought i had it figured out 
see my life will turn out right 
and i’ll make it here somehow 
but things don’t always come that easy 
and sometimes i would doubt, ’cause… 

sometimes i believe 
that i can do anything 
yet other times i think 
i’ve got nothing good to bring 
but You look at my heart and tell me 
that i’ve got all You seek 
and it’s easy to believe, even though

i got a couple dents in my fender 
got a couple rips in my jeans 
try to put the pieces together 
but perfection is my enemy 
and on my own i’m so clumsy 
but on Your shoulders i can see 
i’m free to be me… ”

~ “free to be me”.. by francesca battistelli

I’ve got rips in my jeans.. the holes aren’t completely due to it, but at least one pair finally ripped all the way through while I was playing hotwheels cars with a little boy I babysit. [His mom felt awful, but I tried to assure her that my jeans were worn out anyway, and playing with Eli and his cars wasn’t the cause of the rips.]

So.. I’m not twenty like the lyrics say.. but I love this song. 

Sometimes it’s just the way life goes.. thinking you’ve got it figured out, when suddenly every meticulous plan and every assumption goes awry. I think it’s important to keep track of the fact that it isn’t ours to have under control in the first place. My place is not to control or plan out my life, but to trust.

And to live.

And as I live.. I am going to be clumsy. I’ll make mistakes. I’ll get those rips in my jeans. It’s a good thing, though. It means I’m really living, that I’m getting in the middle of stuff and getting dirty. What good is sitting all proper-like all day every day and never dreaming or living your dreams?

God made each of us who we are.. uniquely us.. and it’s our job to live that out and let Him grow the characteristics He’s created in us.

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